Indirect and Overly Polite

Learning something in a textbook and experiencing something in the real world are two very different things. There are things a textbook can’t teach you or truly prepare you for, like culture shock, language barriers and living in polite indirect societies.

For indirect communication saying "no" is not an option. So growing up members of the society learn the cues and how to read between the lines. If you did not grow-up in the culture its hard to pick up the cues and various signs. When don’t speak the language it feels next to impossible. Japan is a polite culture. People don’t want to embarrass others or make them uncomfortable. Indirect communication is always used. Confrontation is often avoided to keep peace.

Last week I sent home a notice to the parents which had the children’s names on them. One of the mothers came to Kayoko and said that there was a typo, that her daughter’s name is Reina not Rena (it would be similar mistake to writing Ann instead of Anna or Tim instead of Tom). The thing is I’ve been calling Reina Rena since I started teaching in September. I’ve been teaching the preschool class for the past five months. I’ve sent home activity sheets, crafts, notices and newsletters all with the children’s names on them. In December, I had parent teacher interviews and gave out report cards, which had the children’s names on them. Everything had Reina’s name as Rena. Yet I learn about the mistake five freakn months later! I’ve been calling my student the wrong name every four-hour-class, every week for the last five months. All because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings. AHHHHHHHH!

Word Up: Sumimasen –sorry/excuse me